Photo Prompt: (C) Marie Gail Stratford
“From up here you can see more clearly.” The mayor steered Vincent out onto the viewing platform.
Wind whipped the patriarch’s improbably black coif, creating a wild buccaneering air.
“Look at my city, Vincent,” he said. “From here you inspect the whole animal. Where it’s snarled, which bits are diseased and must be replaced. You’ll never grasp that from ground level.”
“Father,” said Vincent, “you and I will never think alike. You picture profit while I see lives.”
“That’s too bad, boy. I always hoped you would take over from me.”
With a tender shove, he toppled the diseased branch.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find It here
Oh, that was quite sinister!
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Well, he’s right of course. He had to get right up there to see which bit was diseased. I liked the idea of a ‘tender’ shove – it’s what father’s do. Great take on the prompt.
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Whoa, he really is serious about getting rid of the bits he doesn’t like, isn’t he? 🙂
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That’s the power of the overview. He just doesn’t get the underview
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Dear Neil,
I’m sure the tender shove didn’t cushion the harsh landing. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hope the lad had a parachute, and a power saw.
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Oh dearie, dearie me.
Not a very nice father.
I like the use of metaphors.
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The ruthlessness of some… sadly, not an improbable tale…
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Since we’re in Metropolis, let’s hope Superman comes flying by in time to rescue our young protagonist. It seems good ol’ Dad is quite the villain.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Strong imagery and stronger words “diseased branch” hmmm yes. With a Hollywood ending he could survive …
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Superman has been suggested
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Yeah that would do it!
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Ha! The “improbably black coif” blowing in the breeze made me think of the Donald, with his improbably blond coif. His sons should read this story….
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Well spotted. I was thinking of Trump when I wrote that!
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Damn, that was harsh!
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He reminds me of Frank Underwood; it may not be pleasant, but it was necessary 🙂 good job.
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A chilling end indeed, all the more so because he felt perfectly justified. Also, I really loved the image of the city as an animal
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Well there’s the thing. He felt perfectly justified. And the thing is, we all do. We sacrifice one thing to achieve another. And there is no real way for us to tell whether we’re right or wrong. Only others can tell, and even then, sometimes only in the fullness of time
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Ah greed – it does awful things to families… and cities! A well done story Neil!
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Talk about Daddy Dearest!
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Ouch, that was just mean. 🙂 Great story.
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Lop it off if you don’t like it! Get rid of the chaff and save the ‘good wheat’.
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Great last line and a good character in this evil father!
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Thanks Emily. I’m glad you liked it
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That well-chosen phrase ‘tender shove’ was a killer!
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Thanks Liz
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Comic and chilling – indeed very like Trump.
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That got a shocked laugh out of me. Excellent story, great images, I especially loved that buccaneer coif. Dear Daddy better watch his other saplings lest one puts the saw to the trunk.
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That’s encouraging that you didn’t anticipate the ending.
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Excellent piece, lovely touch of black humour.
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Thanks
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What a jerk. Glad he’s not the mayor of my city! Great story.
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Scary what some father’s see as necessary sacrifices.
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Did not see that coming. Well done!
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The ‘tender shove’ is an immaculate line. I loved the darkness here, even as I didn’t. A great piece.
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Oh! As great as the tender shove sounded, he is such a creepy father for me!
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Neil, great story. I didn’t see the ending at all and like the others who have commented, loved the last line. Your imagery was spot on. @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
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It’s so good to get the feedback that the ending was a surprise. Thanks Sheila
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Is that what you call tough love? Wonderfully dark ending – and I love the image of the city as an animal. Also love the two points of view – and the point of conflict.
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