This is my response to the first Scrivener’s Forge exercise. Click on the link to see the exercise details. Click here to see other responses.
Sarah leans in close as her friend adopts a conspiratorial whisper. The clatter of cutlery and the hum made by the chatter of two hundred students masks the confession.
“I know Malky must love me because of what he does.”
Sarah leers, with what she believes is a woman-of-the world grin. “Why? What does he do?”
“He brings me his washing.”
Sarah blinks.
Her friend sees the blink and frowns, “That’s intimate, right?”
“Malky’s knickers, yeah. Very intimate.”
“Well there you go – he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t love me, would he?”
Sarah scratches her temple. “Sounds like a bond.”
“And he does other things too.”
The pause is masterly, leaving Sarah no choice but to arch an eyebrow and ask.
“Malky doesn’t like going out. Always wants to stay in. Like, together – just us.”
“Is he … is it … I mean, is it good?”
Sarah’s friend giggles. “A bit quick. But then boys are, aren’t they?”
“Does he go again?”
“Sometimes, but usually he falls asleep and I watch telly.”
First off the block and what a start is that. I have always been a fan of your writings, Neil. I look forward to participating in this challenge, and more importantly, to hear your incisive comments __ good as well as bad_ about my writings.
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That’s great, Neel. I look forward to seeing what you come up with
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I too was leaning in to hear what Malky does. Nice build up with realistic dialogue.
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Thanks so much. Almost all that dialogue was “found” by eavesdropping
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You picked an interesting conversation to eavesdrop on.
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Very nicely done Neil, inspires me to try my hand at this as well.
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Thanks Dahlia
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