Friday Fictioneers – A Bundle of Sticks

~ neilmacdon
gateway-jhardy
PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carrol

You prepare a bed on the drowsy veranda and carry me to it, like a bundle of sticks. With meticulous tenderness you settle my wasted limbs. But I sense you feel something missing from our love, now there’s no longer any cause for jealousy.

I was beautiful, wasn’t I? Admirers threw flowers onto the stage, and you burned in a rage of uncertainty. The doubt bound you to me. Can you cope with tranquillity? Will you stay with me to the end?

 

Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here

Fancy sharpening your skill with writing exercises? The Scrivener’s Forge offers a new exercise every month to hone one aspect of your craft. Take a look at this month’s exercise on character, desire, and suspense here

 

93 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – A Bundle of Sticks”

  5. You don’t need to be on stage to feel you’ve lost something as you get older. While I still feel young myself and like an older teen, I am very much perceived as Mum or “old” by that age group. They’re so unkind!
    xx Rowena

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  12. The use of the second person point of you is very effective to transmit the worries of the narrator. I feel her entire world revolves around his response, so making his feelings the center of the story makes complete sense. Perhaps, when she was on stage, when the uncertainty was his, her thoughts were expressed in first person.

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      1. You are right–my mistake–it seems that it’s all about her, all the way to the end. This makes the whole thing a bit sadder… but for him. Since we know little of who he is, other than what we learn through what he does for her.

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  13. A friend of mine suffers from ALS, and while his wife was never jealous of him and indeed will stay with him to the end, this story reminded me of how much she struggles.

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  14. This is a heartbreaker. Must be a worry for many, when times get that tough and perhaps the bonds they have are not strong enough to survive. Very well told, Neil

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  23. I hope that her worries are baseless. Maybe she saw herself as only lovable when she was sought after – hopeful her beloved sees her as more than a commodity with depreciating value (the way she seems to picture herself).

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