He offered a smart home, a car, and flowers on special days. She took her long red hair and wound it tight about them both. Waited for love to move in. What arrived was habit. She polished that until its base metal sparkled.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Neil MacDonald Author 
She needs a pool boy 😀
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That may well be included in the polishing
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This is sad!
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Yes, it is
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Dear Neil,
Short and brilliantly to the point.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle
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I remember the Ray Bradbury story The Veldt (written, I think, in 1950) where the parents rebel against the automatic house. The kids had other ideas. Good story.
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Thanks so much, Joshua
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Even smart homes need cleaning.Just shows you what the expectations and rewards for love is.
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I’m not sure there was much love there
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Unfortunately, this is the state of many marriages… a sad state.
Fabulously done in so few words, Neil.
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Thanks so much, Dale
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Superb!
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A handful of words that say so much. A sorrowful tale indeed.
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Thanks so much, Keith
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Few words. Full concept! NICE!
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Thanks so much
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That, as they say, is life.
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But not, as Mr Spock says, as we know it
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Better than nothing, but not much. Sounds sterile in more ways than one. Superbly told in a modicum of words.
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Thanks so much
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You are very welcome, Neil.
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I’ll take love over money any time. Nicely written.
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Thanks so much
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He never offered her love. You can put a shine on a lot of things, but eventually the gloss comes off.
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You’re right. He didn’t offer love, but only what he thought love was made of
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A bit of polish only goes so far.
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You’re so right
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It seems they both began with high expectations. Those were dashed and they were left with routine and boredom. Sad but often true. Brilliantly written, Neil!
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Thanks so much, Brenda
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Polishing habit doesn’t make it sparkle – eventually you rub through and end up with rust.
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That’s so true
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great use of metaphor. well done
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Thanks so much
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Wow short and sharp and sad. Clever story
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Thanks so much, Laurie
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Sad, and very short, brilliantly conveyed
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Thanks so much
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lovely to see so much said in so few words, well done
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Thanks so much, Michael
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Expensive gifts are becoming a habit but love is not blossoming. Probably he is doing it all wrong and try differently.
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Or maybe they’re just not going to fall in love
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A sad fact for many I think. I liked “waited for love to move in”.
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Thanks. I was quite pleased with that line
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Sad… But so very relatable.. So many out there waiting for love to move in
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Thanks so much. Ruby
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Sounds like it turns into something that is limited to outward apperance only
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Just so
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The sparkling metal doesn’t make up for the rusting heart. Powerful imagery, Neil.
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Thanks so much, Magarisa
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So well done, Neil. So succinct and sad–I see routine in so many relationships.
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Thanks so much, Sascha
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Yikes! This really says it all and in such a clever way!
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Thanks so much, Dawn
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