Friday Fictioneers – The Dying of the Light

~ neilmacdon
ted-s
PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

The old house was leaking light. We tried to staunch the flow, bandaging our home with drapes and then with shutters. But that prevented us keeping watch.

Ma pulled her shawl tight and said every family was allotted a ration of brightness—when it ran out, it was gone. Dad would grunt and carry on whittling.

We never found out what he was carving, maybe a house-deity to protect us.

Neighbourhood children danced and played in the dwindling fountain.  Other shapes too moved faintly among them. Inside, we dwelt finally in eternal darkness.

 

 

Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here

71 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – The Dying of the Light”

  10. What a subtle story! I love the way you make the bit-part actors like the neighbourhood children who are the ones in the world most of us inhabit, while the main characters live in a spiritual darkness of fear. I hope you have a sequel where spiritual rescue is possible.

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  11. Congrats on the new book, Neil. I’m looking forward to reading it.

    Your descriptions are spot on. Bandaging with drapes and shutters–great visual. Such a sad house, though. I wish there were more to this story.

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  16. This sounds like my roommate. It’s always too bright for her.

    “…leaking light.” Wonderful imagery. I’m intrigued. Is it a religious belief? Or was that a misdirect for the kids? Photosensitivity? Squatters hiding inside? Vampires?

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  26. Oh, I need light. I would find it eery to have to be in the dark all of the time.
    It works so well for this story, Neil. I wonder if they ever find a way to get the light back.
    This sort of reminds me of a movie called silence – the people cannot speak or make noise because the evil ones will get them. 😳😩🙄 Be Safe … Isadora 😎

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  30. Wow! Superb writing Neil. I loved it. You say so much with so little. Lots of words and phrases I loved – house leaking light, bandaging, allotted a ration of brightness, other shapes too moved faintly. Excellent.

    D

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  32. An intriguing mystery, Neil. Bought Cohen’s song “Anthem” to mind, and his words,

    “Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack, a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything)
    That’s how the light gets in….”

    Well done.

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