They cut my damn house in half. Sure, I tried to stop them. But you don’t argue with a buzz-saw big as a … well, big as a house. Surprised? You bet. When she said we should split everything down the middle, I hadn’t realised she meant it literally. The dog made a hell of a mess. Divorce is always untidy. I phoned the kids and told them to run, quick.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. This one’s in memoriam for the departed Ceayr. You can find other stories here
Neil MacDonald Author 
I felt bad for the dog, then smiled for it was only fiction wasn’t it
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Sorry. I couldn’t resist the black humour of the dog
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I may need to bleach my imagination after reading that. 🙂
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What a lovely way of putting it
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Yes, the kids need to run far and fast…
Well written, Neil, a very fitting tribute to to CE. You’ve taken his understated slaughter and given it your own twist. Kudos!
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Thanks so much, Penny
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Dear Neil,
I’m trying to wrap my head around splitting the poor pooch down the middle.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very Solomonaic
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It’s not so much about possessions as getting even–illogical–but that is what divorce does. Good advice for the kids to run just in case she wanted half of each. But why the dog? That was mean.
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She does have a mean streak
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So clever to include the dog – the poor creature’s senseless demise supplies a perfectly-crafted metaphor for the misery of divorce carve-ups. Well done, Neil, for seeing all that and more in this week’s photograph.
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I saw a house cut in half and the rest seemed to follow naturally
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She is so demanding. She sure doesn’t value lives, else the dog would survive.
Hero would have gifted the whole dog to her…
Good that kids are safe 🙂
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If they run and don’t look back they may be
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I’m glad she didn’t try and saw the dog in half too! Great divorce story!
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Actually she did saw the dog in half
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Evil woman!!
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Not the dog! This is the problem when people start taking the word ‘literally’ literally.
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I’m afraid so. She’s scrupulous in her division
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Yeah, I think the kids may need to spend the rest of their lives in hiding, and hopefully she doesn’t find them so those lives will be long…
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That may be necessary
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Yikes. Good thing HE got out of the way!
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Oh she doesn’t want him. Or even half of him. He’s safe
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Neil that is SO good, had me laughing out loud.
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Thanks so much, Jade. Much appreciated
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You’re very welcome.
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Was it King Solomon who decided the true parentage of a baby by offering to cut it in half?
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It was that fellow exactly
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A buzz saw, eh? Like the metaphorical buzz saw that ran right through their marriage!
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Sadly, yes.
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This made me laugh. (Well, I didn’t let myself visualise the dog!) I love the matter-of-fact tone! And it made me wonder what on earth their marriage was like.
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There had been very little hint of this until the point of separation
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So, not a merciful ex-wife.
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Extremely fair though
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The dog might disagree.
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Poor dog. I always told you should’ve had TWO dogs … As for the kids … yeah, I hope they run fast … 😉
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Good thinking. Though she might have decided to bisect both dogs
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Hmm … there’s that. I can’t wait to see what the dining table looks like.
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The letter of the law, if not the spirit!
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To the last jot and tittle
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Now this is what you call a messy divorce. The poor dog.
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No real animals were hurt in the making of this story
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“Untidy” seems like a bit of an understatement in this case.
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Agreed. It’s British understatement
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Poor dog. Causalities in every war. Run kids…
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There is a price even for fairness
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Ha, hilarious 🙂 And tragic, obviously, poor dog.
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Thanks so much
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I usually hate it when people kill pets in fiction because of drama, but in this case… I snorted and laughed through the whole thing. Wonderful. Hilarious and a fitting tribute.
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Thanks so much.
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No! Not the dog! I hope the kids get away in time. Great metaphor for the destructive nature of severed relationships (not always but often).
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Thanks so much, Brenda
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sounds like a divorce made in hell. everybody should get out of the way. 🙂
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She takes no prisoners
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Oh dear ! Took it literally then, half of everything. Poor pooch…
Ouch
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It seems only fair
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As you said to Sandra, I hadn’t looked at this when I wrote mine. But there are some definite similarities! Literally!
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You were kinder to the animals
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An entertaining story with an edge of Hitchcock.
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Hitchcock? That’s high praise for tension. Thanks so much
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Sorry to hear about Ceayr.
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He isn’t dead. He’s just stopped doing Friday Fictioneers
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Love the image of the huge buzzsaw!
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Thanks so much
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Good one! Some people take things a bit too literally, I guess. 🙂
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Thanks so much
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I totally missed that was only half a house. LOL. Now that is what I call a messy divorce!
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She thinks it’s neat and precise
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Yikes! I’m surprised the protagonist didn’t “make a mess” himself (or maybe he did but didn’t tell us). Really enjoyed the dark humor!
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Thanks so much, Magarisa
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