
Inside, the diver’s helmet is a head. Inside that, a dragon and a plan of a spaceship, and a shipwreck. Fronded seaweed curls lazy in the current, merfolk tumble and dance. A sunken treasure chest with bands of iron lies beside a starfish. He reaches. From deep in the rocks an octopus tentacle, pink and sinuous, lashes out.
Outside, a hand lashes out, grabbing the slinky tentacle.
“How many times have I told you to leave my stuff alone,” a shrill voice cries. “For God’s sake, that’s my dil ….. igence.”
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here.
The first half reads like poetry. Then the ending brought laughter. Is it what I think it is? 🙂
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It’s her diligence
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I agree with the above commen ^ said it for me already.
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The moral of the story: stay the hell out of mom’s drawer!
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Dear Neil,
That was quite a journey. I was lulled into the scene with the mythical mer people and then ‘wham!’ reality strikes. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle
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Such a lyrical first half, and then… I think she should keep her diligence in a safe place. Or safe-r place.
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Reminds of the tidy up Ikea commercial.. a child’s fantasy is endless..I got a good laugh out of this.
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Hehe – unexpected end!
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Not with a bang but a whimper!
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A very naughty story.
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I don’t know why it’s naughty – perhaps I’m too naive – what I see is a child’s fantasing interrupted by an adult.
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I think she meant the mention of diligence
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Haha! Really great story, Neil. Such a mythical, mystical opening, then slapped wrists all round. Had me smiling 🙂
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Thanks, Lynn
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Pleasure 🙂
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OK; after I read the comments I got what a dil…igence was! I love the sentence that begins “Fronded…” by the way. Enjoyed this a lot!
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Thanks. Paula
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I absolutely cracked up at the ending. I was so absorbed by this underwater tale I thought you were painting for us that it took a second to realize the twist LOL.
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Great. That’s all I wanted. Misdirection and then laughter.
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Well crafted piece, Neil
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Thanks so much
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Reading along, imagining the underwater scene… *snort*! Good thing I did not have a mouthful of … water!
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I had to go get my dic … tionary to find out why. I don’t want to know.
On the whole, though, a fun story, Neil. That beginning had me dreaming … then the end had me thinking a little TOO much. 😀
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Perfect. Thanks
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I had to read that word twice. I must be either dim-witted, or too sleepy. I got it the second time. 🙂
That sudden shift from tht beautifully lulling, imaginative, sea-scape world filled with child’s-play to his shrill mother’s dil-igence was brutal and funny.
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In fact I had imagined it as his older sister. But every reader creates a slightly different story
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I’m blushing! Loved it 🙂
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The end is too funny, and wonderful imagination in the beginning. Such fun to read.
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Thanks so much
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hell of a last line, lol 😉
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Thanks Helen
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I had to read the comments to get what was going on(still don’t get dil-igence is). Anyway the image came of a fantasy scene, then the back-to-reality sound effect.
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Love the language, the imagination, the flow, but I’m boogered by “diligence”. Consulted Mr Google but he couldn’t help.
‘Merfolk”! Clever – is that yours?
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Thanks for the comment on the language, Patrick. Sorry the sting in the tail didn’t bite. That’s my fault. The kid is playing with her dildo
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Damn, I’m dim.
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Not dim. Just thinking along different lines. Very hard for a writer to anticipate
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This took a couple of reads. Maybe I’m slow on the uptake…or far too innocent to know what her dil igence might have been! I got there in the end. Good story Neil.
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Thanks, Thom
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Funny story, Neil. That’s a great ending twist. A child’s imagination know no bounds. Grownups need to be more careful. Well written. 😀 — Suzanne
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Thanks, Suzanne
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Wonderful imagination!
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Great story, with a whiff of Blue Velvet about it.
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Thanks, etienne
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That’s a surprise ending with oomph. Fantastic.
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Thanks, Margaret
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