
I don’t exist. The track unravels empty across the moor – the physical world contains no first person singular. Though my spirit presses insistently on the arches of my eye socket, like a hawk trying to escape a cage, really the thing’s a ghost.
Fingers flutter and reach for yours. “Give me a hug,” I say.
Even if the outside domain has no room for an “I”, there is a “you”. I know that because I can see you. And through “we”, for a time, I can feel myself in the world.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here.
Fancy sharpening your skill with writing exercises? The Scrivener’s Forge offers a new exercise every month to hone one aspect of your craft. Take a look at this month’s exercise on reveals.
Wow!
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Thanks!
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Seems like he’s dying.
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That’s interesting. My character was just having a severe attack of reverse solipsism, but yours is much more challenged. I like yours better
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There’s solace in the fact that the ‘we’ remains , even beyond this physical world.
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“We” is the link between universes
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I really appreciate the idea of a link, such as that. Beautiful and profound. Thanks, Neil.
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I am not sure I understood this, but then I am being bounced around on a fast train to Doncaster. But I did feel that I was in the presence of a native American
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It’s okay. I suspect this may be another of my failtures as a result of trying to cram a quart’s worth of ideas into a pint pot
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I suspect we all try to do that.
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Dear Neil,
It seems there’s a lot open to interpretation but what I thought was that the narrator is made hole by the presents of the other person. Beautifully written prose that borders on poetry.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much Rochelle.
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Really nicely written, even if I’m not entirely sure I quite get it.
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Thanks so much
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I should probably clarify…the fact that I didn’t get it wasn’t a negative as such…quite nice to read something that leaves you with a mood and a certain sense of confusion 🙂
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Yes, I saw it as the moment of leaving this world. Extraordinarily moving.
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Your’ve all added new elements to my story
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Wow! I am speechless! That is so profoundly true!
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Thank you so much.
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Interesting piece, Neil. Almost reads like a prose poem. You can interpret it a lot of different ways.
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Thanks, Joshua
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Deep. Like that.
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Thanks, Jello
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Beautiful writing. Don’t we all need the reflection of the ‘we’ to find the ‘me’?
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Thanks so much
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Haunting story. I wondered if he was a ghost only becomes manifested when remembered. Love the intriguing line “the physical world contains no first person singular”
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Thanks so much
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It’s a very big ask to explain human self-awareness in 100 words. You’ve written a metaphor for the way we all sometimes experience the ‘ghost in the machine’. I love the description ‘my spirit presses insistently on the arches of my eye socket, like a hawk trying to escape a cage’. The resolution of your unspoken question is good, too, that although there is no ‘I’, there is a ‘you’, and a ‘we’. What a comfort that is!
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Thank you for that reading of my story, Penny
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This has such an existential attitude… for some reason I’m reminded of Raskolnikov through the eyes of Camus.
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What a lovely perception! Thanks, Bjorn
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Wow, this is full of deep introspection. I’m fascinated by the thought of only existing by being part of “we”.
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In southern Africa they have a saying “people become people through other people”
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What a beautiful thought.
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I don’t get this and that’s the beauty of this piece. So full of poetic prose that it adds a touch of surrealism that needs a lot of scratching to get the under. Very well written, Neil.
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Thanks, Neel. But if you don’t get it, it’s not well-written
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Along the lines of Descartes: I love therefor I am. My interpretation anyway. Very well done.
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Thanks, Susan
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Neil, this feels like it’s multi-dimensional, like the essence of wind and clouds, like spirits passing into the next realm, emotions between people before moving on. And yet phrases like: “give me a hug” ground it and perhaps the self too? Is it through the “we” that “me” exists? Definitely thought-provoking.
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What a thoughtful (and poetic) critique. Thanks, Sascha
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I see a lot of different interpretations in the comments – you’ve sparked people’s interest! At first I thought he was a ghost, but the end lines made me think he’s alive but feeling unmoored from the world, from reality, and only comes back to it through his connection with the other half of his “we”.
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Yes, my intetiion was that he’s alive. Thanks, Joy
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A very intriguing write Neil. I saw him as a person lost in the desert hovering between reality and hallucination, life and death.
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Thanks Dahlia. I like your version
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Like other commenters, I didn’t get it, but upon reading their thoughts, I have found it interesting. I love the view of how we are connected. To take it further, the corporate application: as countries, UK, USA, Australia, and other countries are all connected, as are Kenya, Nigeria, Brazil, Mexico, India, Japan, etc. Globally, there is a “we” and a “you”.
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Thanks so much
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Welcome!
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Beautiful writing.
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Thanks so much, Lindy
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I’m fascinated not only by your story but by all the interpretations of it.
I admit that I have read it a number of times and come out with a different thought each time!
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That might even be a good thing! Several stories for the price of one
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Bonus!
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Gosh i loved this, Neil. I’m just going to bask in this a little longer
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Why thank you, Laurie
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Okay, I love the words, and the pictures. I know there’s something deep going on here–a lost love, death, mental illness, something. I just don’t know what 😦
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Thanks so much. The trouble is that what’s going on probably needs more than 100 words to explain
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Yes, I can see that.
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I felt that this person has already died. The spirit just being released. Though now the physical world does not exist as such, he still feels “connected” to it through the people who love him.
Leaves a lot for interpretation. Good one.
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If the first person singular is a ghost to the physical world, it must also be true the physical world is no more than a ghost to the first person singular. I didn’t have space to develop that
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Yeah. 100 words is too much of constraint sometimes. I struggled with my story too this time. And not happy with mine at all. 😦
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i like the mystical feel of the story although there’s so much to understand.
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Thanks so much
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Mysterious and a bit sad too. He seems so sad…
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he’s thought himself into a bit of a philosophical problem
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Well done! Very deep.
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Thanks so much
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Neil, I didn’t really understand this either. Then again, I’m not quite sure what plane I’m on myself at the moment.
xx Rowena
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Thanks Rowena
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I truly admire the way you perceive your stories each time. Mysterious and sad at the same time and very poetic too!
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Thank you so much, Esha
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Loved the idea of leaving it to ones way of perceiving this piece! I felt we is a cosmic connection beyond what can be seen and exists 🙂
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I’ll add that to the list
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Lovely poetry.
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Thank you, Dawn
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