
We called them the witch’s tits. On account of their shape, you know – sharp cones. Before we named the peaks, this was just an ordinary mountain track. Afterwards, well you could feel it, the cold I mean, a kind of chill in your heart as you rounded the corner.
I think it was Harry who named the force – Ishtar, an ancient Queen of Heaven, who destroyed her lovers. Anyhow it was Henry She took for her own that day. We heard a wail and he vanished. That’s why we made the warning sign. Nobody takes this road now.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Dear Neil,
A lot of story. I liked the use of mythology to tell it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I have Ishtar on my mind at the moment because I’m using her in something I’m working on. So, naturally, she snuck in here. Goddesses are sneaky that way
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Indeed they are.
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Ishtar is such a beautiful name. Sad that she took Henry away.
Maybe some dare-devils in the future, who don’t know her name, will take the road less-travelled 🙂
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You can bet on it
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Chilling stuff, Neil.
Are Harry and Henry the same person?
Interestingly, or otherwise, Harry doesn’t do so well in my story either.
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Perhaps everyone is the same person. Thanks. Glad you were chilled, though it’s not Ishtar who’s the scariest being in this tale
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Now there has to be someone to break the myth or face Ishtar’s wrath and survive. Either way, this story has fascinating potential. Nicely done, Neil.
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Thanks so much, Varad. All you have to do is walk round the corner
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That’s a clever and elegant take on the prompt. I, too, noticed the crude construction of the warning sign and wondered whether to use it. Naming things can give the objects power – as here – or give the person doing the naming a power over those objects. In either case, it’s not supernatural, rather a quirk of human psychology, so I very much take your point that it’s not Ishtar who is the scariest being in the story.
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Thanks, Penny. I’m glad you saw what I was aiming for
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That’s a great take. I wondered about that sign too. Not so intuitive, is it?
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Thanks, Joshua. Oh I don’t know, it sort of screams “do not meddle in zings zat do not concern you” to me
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Lovely take Neil, nice mix of legend and mystery.
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Thanks, Iain
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They should have called those peaks Disney Wonderland or something nice and sacchariney
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It certainly would have led to a different story. And that’s the power of names
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One very good reason for thinking very carefully when naming children.
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To paraphrase Ray Liotta (“Field of Dreams”) – if you name it they will take up residence. And poor Henry was obviously the most appetising.
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Word is he’s changed his name and is running a small guest house in Bognor
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Chilling and believable. Ishtar was no girl to mess around with 🙂
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She didn’t get to be Queen of Heaven by playing nice
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I’m intrigued to know if the goddess was offended by the naming or if her taking of Harry was co incidental. Either way, the sign is much needed. Sinister, atmospheric tale Neil
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None of us will know. I’m inclined to disbelieve in Goddesses and to think Harry slipped
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Oh come on now, Neil!
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To be honest, in real life I’d think the same! 🙂
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That’s what he gets for being disrespectful.
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Or credulous
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You just gotta’ wonder what’s around that corner.
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Just dirt
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Ha!!!!! That made me laugh. Thanks.
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Sooner or later someone will take a chance
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Any day now
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Nice Take!
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Thanks so much
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Welcome
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Ishtar sent me a chill through your words! Well done!
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Sorry
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This reminds me a bit of Umberto Eco, where the storytelling makes it true … maybe with any other name it would have been different
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Oh god yes. It would have been a totally different story
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What a wonderful take on the prompt, Neil. Yes, once you name them… they take on a whole new “persona”
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Thanks Dale. I’m glad you liked it
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I love the way you portray the power of ‘naming’ and the impact it has on individuals. A great story, Neil.
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Thanks, Edith
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I’m not sure if it was your intention, but I found the first paragraph quite funny. Witches tits and “afterwards you could feel them, the cold I mean” the ambiguity! In South Africa there is a place in the karoo called Three Sisters because of three small hills that the locals felt resembled breasts. Well, Goddesses are not to be messed with that’s for sure!
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In fact, I was thinking of the three sisters when I wrote that, but no, the joke was unintentional
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What a coincidence you thought of three sisters! Sorry, guess it was my on humorous mood that interpreted it that way. 😊
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I suppose if those cold mountain tops had been more rounded, you would have called them Mother-in-laws Hearts. In either case, putting up a warning sign was appropriate.
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Some facts are inescapable
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Spine chilling elegance. Good one.
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Thanks Sandra, I learned from the Mistress
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Great tale, sad in many ways about Henry. I wonder if some one will pick up the courage to defy the force?
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Thanks, James. Sooner or later someone with different names will turn that corner
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Wonderfully told!
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Thanks so much, Liz
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I love how the power of naming things is portrayed here. Very well done and great story.
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Thanks so much. I am fascinated by the power of names
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Chilling indeed. I once wrote a similar story, inspired by something we encountered in Norway: https://jagahdilmein.wordpress.com/2017/06/27/the-song-of-huldra/
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The stories are in similar vein, if different meaning. Yours. at least in my reading, is about cruelty, and mine is about the way we scare ourselves
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Lovely nod to Sumerian mythology, very well done.
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Thanks so much. All the old gods are still alive in our stories, so long as we keep telling them
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Well, of course they were that shape. If they had been renamed, would Ishtar and the chill have gone away? A great complete tale that also leaves us thinking and wondering, what if?
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Thanks, Sarah Ann. Yes, if they’d been renamed it would have just been a curve in a mountain path
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There’s a lot of mystery and intrigue in this piece and I can’t help feeling I’m missing something
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I’m sure you’re not missing anything, Dahlia. The mystery and intrigue is purely created by the stories these people decide to tell themselves
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Poor Henry. Apparently, nobody ever told him how powerful thoughts can be.
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Henry never could stop thinking
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Your writing always flows as its read, Neil. Perfection in writing and a fabulous take on the photo prompt. A bit of warning: All woman with names that start with the ‘Letter I’ can be mysteriously witchy.
In a good way …. which could be even more dangerous. (I’d add a sinister laugh but can’t think of how to write that.) I enjoyed your story very much.
Isadora 😎
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Thank you so much, Isadora, That made me happy
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Very intriguing.
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Thanks, Lisa. I’m glad you liked it
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A most atmospheric tale- like the sense of foreboding and doom. Glad no-body goes there any more !
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Thanks so much
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Makes me wonder what a sign depicting “Vanishing People” would look like. Black palm is as good as it gets, for now.
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Oh those. They’re all over the place. We just don’t see them because the people are gone
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Great story, Neil. I can imagine the narrator recounting it to a group of travellers as he guides them up the mountain, and them feeling an icy chill run down their spines.
I laughed at ‘Witch’s tits’, maybe I should watch my step!
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Thanks, Thom. I like the idea of the group of travellers
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The cold is palpable, leaving the reader chilled. The first paragraph leads me to think that the naming of the peaks instigated Ishtar’s actions, by familiarity?
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You’re dead right. This is about the power of naming
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