He come. Slow. Old man come slow. You got time to get used to he. One day, he not there. Next day, a spot far away on the edge of the world. Maybe only something in eye. But then closer, a little closer. Birds swoop over. Wind blow grasses. Seems he always been there. Old man always there. Soon, he reach me. Then, something happen. Maybe.
.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Neil MacDonald Author 
Beautiful. Loved the voice. I read it as advancing old age – and not unwelcome at that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Sandra. It was an experiment with voice
LikeLike
I think you found something special there. Something that could be extended in a “Waiting for Godot” sort of way.
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Ain. I was pleased with it
LikeLike
Dear Neil,
Really enjoyed the voice. You left me wanting to know more.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Rochelle. Leaving a reader wanting more is a satisfying outcome
LikeLike
I got the sense of our ancestors crouched around the fire, listening to the storyteller telling tales of the mystic and magical. Well done.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wonderful. That was the kind of atmosphere I was aiming for
LikeLike
Eerie. The atmosphere is spot on.
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Tannille
LikeLike
like an ancient prophecy, love the inflection. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Mason
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welome.
LikeLike
Love the ambiguity of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Sheena
LikeLike
The pidgin lends something to the telling. The spots in the ice do look like the old man coming.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Jade
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome, Neil.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reading this, left me wondering about how differing cultures view Fate. Interesting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a wonderful thing to wonder about
LikeLike
Chilling!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The old man may just be an old man
LikeLike
I love this one. I think the cornwing glory is the “maybe” at the end, but honestly, the voice, the mystery, the anticipation… it’s all spot on
LikeLiked by 1 person
*Crowning
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much. I was pleased with the maybe
LikeLike
Love the voice. I can picture him there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve read it as approaching death that’s always there but gets closer the older we get. Great voice in any case.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s an entirely plausible reading of it. Fascinating how many different stories a single text creates
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just shows that context is everything. Might just as well be a monster story he’s telling. 😀
LikeLike
That one is also possible
LikeLiked by 1 person
I felt a sense of being stalked by the ageing process. Interesting reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, James. Some others had that reading of it too
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the fabled feel to this. And it leaves me wanting to be told more, so much more of the story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great. That’s the way to leave a reader
LikeLike
Love the voice telling, I think, the slow approach of old age.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Lizy. That does seem to be a popular interpretation
LikeLike
I couldn’t help but read it out loud! Excellent Neil.
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Keith. It’s best read aloud
LikeLiked by 1 person
looks like father time to me. i picture him wearing a beard as white as snow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a popular interpretation
LikeLiked by 1 person
A fascinating attempt to articulate a ‘primitive’ understanding of the world. You give an excellent description of how at first you can hardly discern the old man, and then, imperceptibly, it’s as though he’s always been there. Like most, I love your “Maybe.” at the end, summing up the ambiguity of the whole piece.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Penny. I always look forward to your readings
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice, I like the voice in this one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much
LikeLike
Nicely atmospheric. Another story teller from a different world/time: ancient, anticipating. Liked the different “voice” and feel of the tale.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Lorraine. Or perhaps this is a tale from the future
LikeLike
True. Hadn’t thought of that. We are devolving, it seems as a race given what’s going on out there.
LikeLike
I really liked the story Neil and found it moving, a touch mystical. It put me in mind of a folk story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s great. That’s exactly the vibe I was going for
LikeLike
Fascinating, Neil. That’s such a good voice, straight out of another culture and other myths. I too see a storyteller, sitting under a tree, holding the listeners spellbound. Such a great piece of writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jenne. What a lovely thing to say
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent voice. Loved the “maybe”. at the end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad the maybe worked for you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oooooooo
This is amazing. I love this one so much Neil. Voice and story. Wow
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Laurie
LikeLike
The old man cometh and he’s nearing the shore.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah that one. The walking on water one.
LikeLike
I didn’t think of that but could be. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the language in this story. It pulled me in and then … hm!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Anne
LikeLike