Friday Fictioneers – Starfall

~ neilmacdon
january-snowfall-nighttime
PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Potter

It was dark when the stars began to fall. Not a creature was stirring. Except Josh. He pressed his nose to the cold windowpane and stared as the bright nebulae and galaxies fluttered and twirled to earth.

“Ben!” he whispered to his brother.

No response.

“Ben!” More urgently. “Wake up, Ben. The sky is falling. There are stars all over the garden.”

“Yeah right, Chicken Little.”

Ben was four years older than Josh, and that made all the difference.

 

Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here.

Fancy sharpening your skill with writing exercises? The Scrivener’s Forge offers a new exercise every month to hone one aspect of your craft. Take a look at this month’s exercise here

83 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Starfall”

  5. This is a such a gem!

    The first sentence is glorious. One is shocked, and completely unsure of what will come next. I must confess that I was expecting apocalyptic mayhem. Then came Josh… to remind me of dreams and wonders.

    Love this.

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  10. I was thinking this same thing about the age difference last night. It matters a lot when you’re very young and, again, when you’re very old. That four years of aging at the end is exponential not linear. At some point, the damage begins to accumulate faster than you can deal with the injuries and decay. Poignant story. Well done in voice and mood.

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  12. Neil, that’s lovely. So sweet and naive and felt so right, the way you told it and the difference you saw in the ages of the boys. Really loved this one

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  26. I agree with all, this was a sweet story about the innocence of youth. Loved the addition of the line “Not a creature was stirring.”

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  33. I like this from the smaller boys viewpoint who thinks the stars are falling. The older boy knows better but wouldn’t it be something if the younger brother could see things his brother couldn’t anymore?

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  41. That is just so adorable. Such innocence. It makes me feel all nostalgic. My children had 5 years between them and you can imagine how much an older sister delighted in putting her younger brother straight. But sometimes, when she was in a good mood with him, she went along with his magical way of looking at the world. He once asked me, “Mummy, why don’t the birds collide with God when they’re flying high up?” …Those were the days.

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  43. How bizarre, when I briefly pondered (can one ponder briefly?) on the picture before reading your words I though, Chicken Lickin. The Sky’s falling Down. So smug did I smile when I read your words, thinking great minds, thinking alike, or am I the fool watching on?

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