
There’s a stranger in my womb, a cuckoo in my nest. I’m great with another woman’s child. I know I should feel grateful she donated her egg for me, but it seems like I’m incubating it for her.
Will I learn to love this thing spawning inside me? They say every mother does, but that’s not true. Some never bond with their child, even when it’s natural. I feel you in me, demon. The end days are here, and I have nowhere to run.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Topical story, with the surrogacy trend catching on ….
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Thanks, Reena
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You’ve captured the fear very well here. This one will stick with me.
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Thanks so much, Jennifer. I couldn’t ask for more
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Not a great advert for surrogacy, but then I suppose it depends who the donor is…
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And the recipient
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Looks like for some surrogacy is not the be all and end all of it all. You have very poignantly touched upon the fears of a few.
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Thanks so much, Neel
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Ooh, loved this!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks so much, Susan
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Great concept here and really well done.
Best wishes,
Rowena
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Thanks so much, Rowena
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Dear Neil,
This one raises all kinds of questions….which leaves me wanting to know more. Compelling piece. I would love to know how the prompt inspired your story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, Questions are good. How the prompt inspired the story? I saw the space as a womb.
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I suspect there may be more than meets the eye here. Doesn’t bode well for the child, though. Well done.
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Thanks so much, Joshua
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I’m glad Rochelle asked the question, and you answered it. I was wondering, too, what the connection was. This is a compelling piece, scary but not too far from a reality that modern science has created. Good write.
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Thanks so much, Linda
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Just don’t name it Damian! I guess some people where not meant to be surrogate mothers,… or perhaps she -does- know…
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I think she knows. Whether what she believes she knows is right is another matter entirely
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I like the story, Neil, but the comments confuse me!
The narrator is only a surrogate, surely, if she did not plan to keep the baby but to hand it over at birth. Or have I misunderstood the whole thing?
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Thanks. In my mind, she’s had a donated egg implanted
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Then I got it, cool.
But she has big doubts, probably natural, and vividly depicted in your short tale.
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Yup, you got it
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This brings up all sorts of issues and concerns. Thought provoking.
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Thanks so much, Jo
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Well! Having never had children, this brought up all the thoughts I’ve ever had about pregnancy. Like “What the heck? There’s an alien inside me!” and “No, that does not feel right.” I realize your story is taking on more than that but . . .
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I’m glad it struck a chord. Thanks, Alicia
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And I thought I went dark this week…
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🙂
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This is a very troubled voice, well conveyed. At a time when the woman should be overjoyed that the implant was successful, she has growing alarm about the unavoidable outcome. Shades of Rosemary’s Baby, but in your story the conception was apparently by consent which somehow makes it even darker.
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Thanks so much, Jilly. I’ll try for jolly next week
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Neil! Have you ever done jolly? I don’t recall. 😉
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Yes. I’m hurt 🙂
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I think your jolly might be jolly dark!
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Ho ho ho
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That troubled voice comes across perfectly and it does leave the reader thinking about all possible scenarios post pregnancy. Jolly good I’d say.
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Thanks so much
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sometimes the bonding starts when the child is born. who knows? he or she may end up as an angel after all. 🙂
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Her fear is that sometimes it doesn’t
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Disturbibg. The end of days allusion is worrying, as if the decision to undergo in vitro fertilization –if im using the right terms–was a decision made before the general state of the world went south, and now is a sourcce of some regret.
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I like that interpretation
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Maternal instincts are natural. It is true, some women may have less maternal instincts. Everyone is different. Thank you for sharing a different take.
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Thanks for the comment
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It sounds like it’s not going to work out for her, but who knows, once the baby comes.
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It doesn’t sound good, does it?
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Even the Devil’s son deserves a bit of love Neil 🙂
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That’s mighty generous of you
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A reminder of the Handmaid’s Tale here. Treating women as incubators is a state of mind and a financial burden for others – I wonder if they will Tax it.
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Thanks so much, James
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That’s thinking outside the box. 🙂
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Thanks, Kristian
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I am sure most of the surrogate mothers go through this hell. You captured their emotions very well.
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Thanks so much, Piyali
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What a lot you’ve encompassed with this story by including so many allusions to supernatural matters. And yet it can also be read absolutely straight as a woman whose state of mind has been perturbed by the process of pregnancy from a donated egg. Clever writing, Neil!
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Thanks so much, Penny. I’m not sure those are two different readings. When our minds are perturbed, we reach for forms of expression from our culture and mythology
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The things left unsaid in this says a lot. Excellent work, Neil.
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Thanks so much
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That is so sad – my daughter has a much loved daughter from a donated egg.
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I’m glad her experience was different
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The intellect and the emotions going to war against each other, especially with the craziness of pregnancy hormones mixed in. Many a pregnant mother has asked beforehand similar questions to, “What if I stink at being a mom? What if I don’t bond with the baby?” And her case is complicated. You expressed her fears so well.
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Thanks so much, Brenda. I was a bit nervous about whether I could write this credibly
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Ah man, I can only imagine how terrifying that would be- when my cousin was pregnant she likened the experience to carrying an alien parasite and hoping she’d love it when it slid out. As a society I guess we take it for granted that the father bonds with his baby once he sees it. And put a disproportionate amount of pressure on the mother to bond while it is still only an “alien parasite”.
Great story man- gave me something cool to think about 🙂
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Thanks, Jacob
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You captured the fear of the unknown that we all face in an intensely personal way. Well done!
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Thanks so much, Deborah
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i always wondered what such a mother feels.
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And, from such wonderings, stories grow
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Creepy. Nice one!
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Thanks so much
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Sounds like she’s an old mother hen about to hatch out a baby duck. I can’t wait until it jumps in the pond.
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Thanks, Russell
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Nice one, Neil! 🙂
I can only imagine how scary it must feel…
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Thanks so much
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Most welcome! 🙂
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Very topical. Great concept.
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thanks so much, Lisa
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Doesn’t sound like a surrogate case to me… after all in that case why worry if you would care for the baby… more like an egg-donation…
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That’s right
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You’ve done a great job expressing her resentment and disgust at having another woman’s “demon” inside her. On a personal note, I can’t help relating to the protagonist, as I’ve always considered pregnancy to be a parasite invasion (thus would never voluntarily go through that myself). Very creative take on the prompt.
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Thanks so much. This was unfamiliar territory for me
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What a bleak take on the prompt, really good stuff.
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thanks so much
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A touch of Alien in this.
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Perhaps, but that may just be the source of images she reaches for the expreess her distress
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True, and her alienation (so-to-speak) from the child she is carrying, shows clearly.
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A powerful piece of writing, Neil. Although she’s carrying the child, she seems detached from him/her. Her words, “I know I should feel grateful she donated her egg for me, but it seems like I’m incubating it for her” convey this. And her fear, desperation and resignation come through in the last words about the end days and having nowhere to run. She’s in this now and has to stick with it, whether she wants to or not. I hope that she will end up bonding with the child, though.
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Thanks, Deborah
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