
I hated the way he slurped his shake—a bubbling of gastric juices. By some malign alchemy he could transform even the sweet vanilla pods of Madagascar into anger. Every slow suck was a rebuke.
“Pissant little assholes,” he rumbled round the straw. “Ungrateful.”
No need to ask who he meant. It didn’t matter Pop was angry with the whole world.
The rictus of a smile painted on my face, I raised my shake in a toast, “Happy Fourth.”
He squirted ketchup on his fries as if that might drown them, and glowered. “Yeah.”
I sighed. “Pass the freedoms, Pappy.”
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Terrific! Masterful portrayal of a character and a relationship at the same time. Loved the opening paragraph.
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Thanks so much, Sandra
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Drowning fries in ketchup, ugh, but I enjoyed the words and images that you created
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Thanks so much, Michael
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Dear Neil,
Pappy made me very uncomfortable. I couldn’t wait to part company with him. Excellent character development.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle
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A great show of the character’s frustration and I wonder if our narrator was internally laughing at him.
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I think the narrator is too scared of Pappy to laugh
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Powerful piece, Neil, with superb characterisation.
The sad thing is that we all know Pappy.
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Thanks so much.
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A lot said in those couple of lines of dialogue. Wonderfully done, Neil.
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Thanks so much
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Wonderfully done!
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Thanks so much, Kelley
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great crusty character. Reminded me of the scene in A Clockwork Orange when Little Alex is narrating while they beat up a bum. “One thing I could never stand is to see a filthy old drunky howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going Blerp Blerp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that whatever his age might be. But more especially when he was real old like this one was.”
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Thanks, Joshua
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What a vivid old character, Neil. Good writing. I think I’ll just move a couple more booths away from him. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I would. He’s likely to spray.
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😀
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Brilliant descriptive writing and characterisation. We know these people, the brutal, overbearing father; the weak son who is neither brave enough nor strong enough to oppose him. And yet, with all that, something about your story (and I don’t know what it is) makes me ask “How did the father get like that? To what trauma has he been exposed”.
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Thanks so much, Penny. The father has suffered a lifetime of small slights
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Pappy, the penultimate grumpy old man. This is a wonderful snapshot 🙂
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Thanks so much, Linda
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If we every go out for a meal, warn me ahead of time if that Pappy is going to be there, eh? Because I’d take a rain-check …
Nicely done.
And … I think i know one or two people who fit that description .. perhaps Pappy clones.
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Thanks so much
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You painted Pappy and your regard for him as masterfully with words as a painter could with paints. And in 100 words or less! Good job.
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Thanks so much, Jade
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You are welcome 🙂
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We all know a Pappy. Fortunately we don’t all have to eat with one, or listen to them.
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Thanks for reading, Iain
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Brilliant writing, I could see him there, gruntling. Even so, there is some affection there between these two.
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Thanks so much
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You wrapped an entire novel in 100 words. Wow!!!!
My take on this week’s challenge: https://dbmcnicol.com/friday-fictioneers-declaration/
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Thanks so much.
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Sometimes anger comes as uninvited guest. We don’t even know we are angry. I guess change in hormone balance does this to us. This perennial anger for no real reason.
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Thanks for reading
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Oh beautifully done. Every description of Pappy is gloriously painting a picture.
And straw slurpers bother me too !
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Thanks so much, Laurie
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Took me back to my bistro days – I had few customers like him!
My tale – The Flag
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Thanks for reading, Keith
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I’ll echo everyone here and say what a wonderful piece of writing you’ve done here, Neil. So much said in so few words. We can picture the scene perfectly.
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Thanks so much, Dale
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The first paragraph is wonderfully descriptive. I know some people like Pappy. A lifetime of disappointment leading to complete disillusionment. Good for the young man to endure his company and to try. A deep story with many possible meanings.
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Thanks so much, Brenda
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I really like this one, gritty; and weirdly it made me laugh!
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Thanks so much. I’m glad it made you laugh, there was an intentional joke in it
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It’s hard for a son with such an unlovable character as Pop… sometimes you wish you could chose your parents
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Thanks for reading, Bjorn
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Yep, I have had dinner with a character like Pappy.
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Pappy is probably the only personal on the planet who can’t say that
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i guess some folks don’t age gracefully. 🙂
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I suspect he was always thst way
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Descriptive and interesting. I found myself picturing one of the old muppets who sat in the wings, complaining about everything. The grandson (?) is most forbearing.
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Thanks so much. I loved the muppet comparison
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So descriptive that I could almost taste the gastric juices and the fries drowned in ketchup. Fantastic writing.
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Thanks so much, Magarisa
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A bitter man. I can’t imagine having to live with that constant atmosphere.
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And yet people do
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That imagery of him drinking the milkshake, those words, I could feel the tension pouring off him. (I’ve seen men like him lately.) So very well done!
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Thanks so much, Sascha
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