Friday Fictioneers – Breakfast

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

I hated the way he slurped his shake—a bubbling of gastric juices. By some malign alchemy he could transform even the sweet vanilla pods of Madagascar into anger. Every slow suck was a rebuke.

“Pissant little assholes,” he rumbled round the straw. “Ungrateful.”

No need to ask who he meant. It didn’t matter Pop was angry with the whole world.

The rictus of a smile painted on my face, I raised my shake in a toast, “Happy Fourth.”

He squirted ketchup on his fries as if that might drown them, and glowered. “Yeah.”

I sighed. “Pass the freedoms, Pappy.”


Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here

60 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Breakfast

  1. great crusty character. Reminded me of the scene in A Clockwork Orange when Little Alex is narrating while they beat up a bum. “One thing I could never stand is to see a filthy old drunky howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going Blerp Blerp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that whatever his age might be. But more especially when he was real old like this one was.”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Brilliant descriptive writing and characterisation. We know these people, the brutal, overbearing father; the weak son who is neither brave enough nor strong enough to oppose him. And yet, with all that, something about your story (and I don’t know what it is) makes me ask “How did the father get like that? To what trauma has he been exposed”.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If we every go out for a meal, warn me ahead of time if that Pappy is going to be there, eh? Because I’d take a rain-check …
    Nicely done.
    And … I think i know one or two people who fit that description .. perhaps Pappy clones.


  4. Sometimes anger comes as uninvited guest. We don’t even know we are angry. I guess change in hormone balance does this to us. This perennial anger for no real reason.


  5. I’ll echo everyone here and say what a wonderful piece of writing you’ve done here, Neil. So much said in so few words. We can picture the scene perfectly.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The first paragraph is wonderfully descriptive. I know some people like Pappy. A lifetime of disappointment leading to complete disillusionment. Good for the young man to endure his company and to try. A deep story with many possible meanings.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Descriptive and interesting. I found myself picturing one of the old muppets who sat in the wings, complaining about everything. The grandson (?) is most forbearing.

    Liked by 1 person

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