
Thin winter sunlight flooded the apartment and there was a cheery crackle. Mikhail rose from his armchair by the fireplace and crossed to the window, with the spray bottle in his hand. With care he misted the orchid on the windowsill. The flower was so delicate, white as the snowdrift in the street far below.
Another crackle, closer, and shouts. He looked down at the street and saw running figures. A shrill whistle and then the corner of the apartment block opposite bloomed flying masonry and bodies. Mikhail misted the second orchid, all the beauty that was left to him.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here.
Fancy sharpening your skill with writing exercises? The Scrivener’s Forge offers a new exercise every month to hone one aspect of your craft. Take a look at this month’s exercise on character, desire and plot here.
In such dark times we take pleasure from the the small and simple things, even with that sense of hopelessness. Nicely expressed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Iain
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Neil,
I chose that photo for the contrast between orchid and snow. You took it to the next level. Expressive writing with vivid descriptions. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Rochelle. Your comment means a lot to me
LikeLike
This reminds me of a scene in Children of Men where they are looking down from an apartment onto a street scene of soldiers rushing down a narrow street into the fray of a riot. Well done.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much
LikeLike
So chillingly and starkly told, I almost felt as though I were there, looking down over the orchids. Well done. Masterly, in fact.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! Thanks, Sandra
LikeLike
Very very very realistic and touching!
Loved the last line.
You echo my writing in a different way!
LikeLike
A very different way, but I see what you mean
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, more realistic in another part of the world!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the juxtaposition of the violence and the lilies. Best part is, I could actually see the man doing it, kind of a mild-mannered, maybe older gentlemen, spraying the lily. There’s a scene in a movie like that, although, I can’t remember it right off the bat. It was a guy who had a flower and he kept it up during war time because it represented beauty in a war-torn place.
Bravo, Neil!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, William
LikeLike
Amid war, beauty. It is a hopeful, if sad, commentary. Great write!
LikeLike
We all have to find beauty where we can. Thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, yes. 🙂 The violence was perfectly placed for best effect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Kecia
LikeLiked by 1 person
Witnessing the revolution while spraying orchids.
LikeLike
Good job at portraying the contrast between inner calm and outside chaos. I think his is a very realistic response.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I fear his building will be hit in the next salvo
LikeLike
And there’s nothing he can do…and he knows it. The “fight or flight” instinct has died, so he takes one last look at beauty before the BOOM. You’ve shown us a lot in a few words.
LikeLike
Yes, thank you
LikeLike
Lovely sparse writing – just the right amount of description in the set up and then the boom. And we know what kind of kife he’s led, the kind of suffering he’s been through. Such a lot in so few words
LikeLike
Thanks, Lynn. I’m so glad it worked for you
LikeLiked by 2 people
My pleasure Neil 🙂
LikeLike
So bittersweet. I feel he has resolved himself to his lonely desolate life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He doesn’t really have an alternative
LikeLike
A master in remaining calm… or maybe numbed in a world of horror… maybe we need to learn from orchids.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Bjorn
LikeLike
You hit on something quite deep here Neil, the way in which we focus on – or distract ourselves with – tasks and rituals so as not to be consumed by pain and horror
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s what I was going for. I’m glad you saw it that way
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely contrasts here: silence and explosion, peace and war, white and red.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jane
LikeLiked by 1 person
You do this so well, Neil. The contrasts between the beauty we can “control” and the horrors we cannot
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a lovely comment! Thanks, Dale
LikeLiked by 1 person
A reflection of the times we live in – very vividly penned.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. I had Aleppo and the Ukraine in mind
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love how you distracted us with the “crackle” of the fire inside then turned it into the crackle of gunfire. Delightfully done. Great contrasts in this story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Alicia, and for noticing the transition in the crackle
LikeLike
Wow, love the delicate orchid. Great contrast with the violence outside
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Laurie
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a difference, looking past the beauty of the orchid to the violence below.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can picture Mikhail and his room. The contrast to what is going on outside is stark. Very moving.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes – the small and the beautiful are so important. Thanks for this. I really liked it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Louise
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the contrast of light and dark in this Neil
LikeLiked by 1 person
The world seems to get darker step by step and I don’t like it, I don’t like it at all. What a great and dark take on this weeks prompt. You never disappoint!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much
LikeLike
Completely beautiful. I could see myself reacting in the same way (may have to the way things are going here!)
You also have a very impressively designed blog. xx
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Ros
LikeLike
I especially liked the two crackles, wood fire and gun fire. It also made me wonder what it must have been like during the bombing raids of the blitzkrieg. You never know where the next one will hit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Russell
LikeLike
Great contrast in your story. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Lindy
LikeLike
I really enjoyed the depiction of a scene of serenity and peace in the midst of a warzone. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jade
LikeLiked by 1 person
A dastardly deed done by a diabolical yet delicate hand? Hmmm. Interesting and sinister. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much
LikeLike
Very coldly told, I loved the way he carried on misting the orchids despite everything going round about him. Very fatalistic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Michael
LikeLike
A stunning piece of writing. You lulled the readers with the sense of calm and tranquillity and shattered their peace of mind in such a chilling way. Very powerful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Edith. I’m glad it had that effect
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved this. The beautiful flower next to the ugliness outside. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sascha.
LikeLike
Powerful story this week, Neil! The contrast between the orchid and the violence below is striking. You tell it in such a calm, precise way, that the impact is that much stronger.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Dawn, that’s a lovely comment
LikeLiked by 1 person
It feels as though he’s lost his family, his neighbourhood and his country. Great contrast/tension between the delicacy of the orchid and the violence around him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Patrick
LikeLike
His calm demeanor tells me the explosion was not a surprise.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess you can get used to anything, so even explosions become normal
LikeLike
😦
LikeLike
Such a way of life for so many around the world now.
Thank you for sharing.
– Lisa
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for reading, Lisa
LikeLiked by 1 person
We think of the bombing but not of the experience of those above it. You just created what might be part of the whole picture, Neil. What a wonderful contrast between beauty and the ugliness of conflict. Great writing as always, —- Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah yes, the beauty of humanity in an inhuman place. So true. So sustaining.
LikeLiked by 1 person