
I wanted to say I’m sorry. But she wouldn’t listen. She ran. She fell and didn’t move. I was frightened. So, I never got to say sorry, and I never got to be forgiven.
Do you see? You are my second chance. That’s why I had to hurt you. So I could say sorry, and so you could forgive me.
You do forgive me, don’t you? You must.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Very sinister!
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Thanks 🙂
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Portrait of a narcissistic sociopath.
Powerful piece, Neil.
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Thanks so much
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Whether he is forgiven or not, I see this ending up the same way – and then being repeated again and again. Chilling portrait.
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Thanks, Iain. I think you’re right
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Dear Neil,
I envision this poor girl in chains while this nutcase looms over her. Ominous, chilling, menacing piece. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle
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Mental health problems to the extreme. Hope he/she gets help.
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I wasn’t planning on help. I thought I’d abandon him here
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Mm. Domestic violence is a trap. You story shows how some justify their actions, but never change.
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Thanks for that reading, James
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Sad and horrifying at the same time. Good voice.
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Thanks so much, Joshua. I’m glad you appreciated the voice
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He had to hurt her so she could forgive him. Wow. Twisted and sinister!
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There’s nothing stranger than the inside of somebody else’s head
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That’s dark, Neil. He’s one sick and twisted man. Poor women. Good writing. —- Suzanne
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Thanks so much, Suzanne. It’s good to see you back
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You’re welcome. Thanks. I’m enjoying being back. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Scary tale. Have missed your stories.
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Thanks. Welcome back
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Love the way you wove the story and left me with the shivers. Excellent!
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Thanks so much, Brenda
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Well done. Should I worry about you?
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Thanks, Dale. It’s not autobiographical
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I know. I tease
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Now that was really chilling, Neil. Well done.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks so much, Susan
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This won’t have a happy ending I am afraid.
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It doesn’t even have a happy beginning. And it was a sunny day when I wrote it, too
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Oh, yeah – that’s not scary at all. I hope “you” has a gun.
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Thanks so much, Alice
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Maybe your guy and my guy are the same person? Your look into the mind of a killer is chilling!
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I’m not sure mine has ever killed anyone, but maybe he has
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Oh I feel so sorry for her.
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Thanks, Tessa
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I like the change in our opinion of him halfway thru: at first he seems a kind-hearted lover, apologizing over a mistake, and then after she fell and “refused” to forgive him, (due to lack of animation)he flails about to find a new victim. From then on, he seems obsessive and crazed.
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Thanks so much, Andy
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Oh boy, this chap’s got problems. He seems very like a little kid in his needs.
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Yes he does. Thanks for reading
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Some one has to get physically hurt for him to say sorry! He is not sorry, he is looking for victims.
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But that’s not how he sees it
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oooo, positively evil little tale. Good one, though! 🙂
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Thanks so much
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Christ, he’s a nutter, really well written, so much said in so few words!
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Oooooo dark.
Short but doesn’t hold back on the creep factor. Well done
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Thanks so much, Laurie
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People can go to any extent for a sorry…
This person seems to be a ‘mental’ case.
Hope she’s wise enough to recognize that. (I feel “sorry” for her if she doesn’t understand him)
Out Of Sight & Out Of This World – Anita
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Thanks, Anita
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This gives me the shivers and in its coldness perfectly fits the prompt. Great build-up to the horror.
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thanks so much. I’m glad you saw the connection to the prompt
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Well crafted sinister tale.
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Thanks so much
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I like how you reveal the ugly truth of this character after we’ve begun to feel sorry for him. Well told.
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Thanks so much, Margaret
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Great voice in a chilling story.
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Thanks so much
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Run! Run while there is still time.. Excellent write!
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Thanks so much, Violet
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His logic is impeccable… in his own mind. This sent chills down my spine!
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Thanks so much, Mararisa
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This takes narcissism to a whole other wierdo level!
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It does rather, yes. Thanks, Fatima
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Yikes!
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Sorry
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A powerful piece in so few words, and it fits the prompt so well.
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Thanks so much, Michael
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Painted in the darkest hues and yet I can see how this would make sense to someone with a disturbed psychology. Well written, Neil
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Thanks so much, Lynn
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My pleasure Neil
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Wow! The lengths he’ll go to for 3 words!
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He has hard to meet needs
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