You can never take it back. One look at her eyes, wide as a cartoon, and her trembling hands was enough. She’d seen the anger he’d locked away and could never feel safe again.
“It’s a prophecy,” he tried. “See, like in the painting.”
He gestured at the hole his fist had made in the wall and then at the picture, the one mirroring the other. “They’re the same.”
Hoping for hidden treasure, he reached into the cavity. Silent, she shook her head. His fingers closed on nothing, and he knew the real emptiness he’d revealed was his own.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Neil MacDonald Author 
Superb, Neil.
I am a big admirer of your writing, and this is as good as I’ve seen from you.
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Thanks so much, CE
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Dear Neil,
Emptiness on the inside well expressed. That’s what writers and artists do, isn’t it? Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle
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The last lien says it all. I have seen these fisticuffs and gunning fingers in the air.
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Thanks so much, Reena
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This felt like poetry. So much, yet so little. Vivid.
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Thanks so much, Tannille
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A stunning piece of writing. And the start i the deterioration of a relationship.
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Thanks so much, Colline
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Killer last line there.
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Thanks so much, Joshua
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The mirroring of the emptiness is expertly done.
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Thanks so much, Iain. I’m glad you noticed the mirroring
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Beautifully done. I think many of us are in a morose, reflective mood this week.
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Thanks so much,Sandra. Bah! Humbug!
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This picture lends itself to violence and grief. Finding his own emptiness was a stroke of genius.
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Genius! I need you to be my manager! Thanks, LInda
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Ooh, this was very, very good, Neil. So good I read it a second time to savour it. 🙂
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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That makes me very pleased. Thanks so much, Susan
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The other commenters already beat me to every superlative that came to my mind. Excellent!
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Thanks so much
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Simply brilliant Neil. You’ve set the bar very high for the rest of us this week!
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Thanks so much, Keith
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Wow. Reading yours now (I only read others’ after I write and post mine), I see how we both went the direction of violence upon substance as a reflection of something quite lacking. And .. I don’t blame her for never feeling safe again. Impulsive violence is often a mark of more violence to come. Brilliant and shattering, that. Pun and all. Na’ama
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Yes, we took a similar approach. They do say there are only 7 (1? 23?) stories in the world
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Yeah. As for the math, I heard there were in fact 73: 5.623 stories in the world, multiplied to the power of 8,000,000,000 😉
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to me the whole story was capture in the first sentence. “You can never take it back.” The rest confirmed the sense of regret from pointless angry action.
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I agree with that reading
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Woah! The emptiness could not have been communicated better than this.
Thanks Neil, for this powerful piece of writing.
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Thanks so much, Natasha
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Your story is written in deceptively simple language, which conceals complex and thought-provoking ideas. Nice one, Neil!
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I keep trying for simplicity and failing, so I appreciate the comment, Penny
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His realisation has come too late for their relationship, I think.
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violence does tend to mar a relationship
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This was fabulously written, Neil. So much came through in your 100 words.
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Thanks so much, Dale
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Oh that last line. Damn. So good Neil. Great piece this week.
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Thanks so much, Laurie
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Really poetic stuff, god knows we need some poetry right now to combat the rhetoric we hear day in day out. Love it
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Thanks so much. I was aiming for gritty, but I’ll take poetic
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Groetic
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Very well done Neil! I love a deep, reflective piece here and there.
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Thanks so much Rusesell
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This was a great piece of writing – calm, measured and more chilling the more you read it. Lovely.
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Thanks so much, Siobhan
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:::Gulp:::: She needs to start sleeping with one eye open or with a lock on the door and him in another room. Been there done that. At least he still has a *tenuous* connection with reality in a semi self-aware way. That could break at any moment… Superb storytelling, Neil.
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Thanks so much, Jade. I agree, and more: she needs to leave now
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You’re very welcome.
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Wonderfully thought-provoking.
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Thanks so much, Liz
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You have distilled a pivotal moment in their relationship so powerfully. I especially liked ‘her eyes as wide as a cartoon’ ,and ‘his fingers closed on nothing.’ Good story.
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Thanks so much
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Powerful, just powerful, well done
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Thanks so much, Michael
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What a haunting ending. I can see her wide eyes, starring into the abyss.
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Thanks so much, Magarisa
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