Friday fictioneers – Parting

~ neilmacdon
back-ally1
PHOTO PROMPT © Jan Marler Morrill

The afternoon sprawled like a lazy dog in the little town. Sweat trickled down my back as I raced from the sun-scoured piazzas to the shade of the whitewashed alleys. She was not there. Had I imagined her, loping tall and bronzed into the taverna, swinging a leg over the chair beside me? Was our perfect closeness a dream?

At the harbourside, the taverna keeper passed me a message scrawled on a scrap of paper.

Some moments are so perfect they deserve to be protected from life’s corrosion.

Love

Philippa.

The ferry hooted as the mooring ropes fell away.

 

Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here

 

61 thoughts on “Friday fictioneers – Parting”

  8. Great story Neil. There is wisdom in her words although I get the impression he will remember her long after she has forgotten him!

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  10. Loved the first line, and the atmosphere you created throughout. I could feel the heat in more ways than one. The only thing that jarred with me was ‘swinging a leg over the chair’. That sounded to me more like the kind of thing a guy does. But that’s probably just the ‘lady’ in me. 😉

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  13. Philippa’s words strike me as the excuse of someone who is avoiding commitment! I think the swinging leg reinforces this attitude in her. She’s not bothered!! A great piece of writing. I loved it.

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  18. I’ve gotten letters like this before — they don’t soften the blow, either. “Ya been dumped, baby!”
    I loved the feel of the story, the desperation, the atmosphere, everything. I felt I was there. You put me in and kept me in.

    Bravo, Neil! Five out of five barstools.

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  22. Just with this first sentence you create the perfect atmosphere for this story. I wish I could do that. 🙂 And since you asked: I see Philippa as one of these women who know how to keep up a guy’s interest. She is mysterious and elusive. He knows her name, he knows the ferry she took, and with some effort he could find out more–but is she worth it? In any case, great story.

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    1. He thinks she’s definitely, but if her pursues her he may ruin the precious connection they established. She may be right about what she says in her note. Thanks for the praise. It’s always great to hear

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  32. Pingback: 83. My secret formula for flash fiction | Neil MacDonald Author

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