Everything about the place was just slightly wrong. It strove for gentility and a sense of timelessness—etched glass and dark wood, old casks and dim lighting. But the scent of madeira and cigar smoke had been sprayed from a bottle or applied with a cloth. The waiters’ cravats weren’t tied quite right, and the mournful music was recorded. You can’t really have a fado salon anywhere but Portugal. And, behind the bar, a sign that read “Please do not ask for credit as a punch in the mouth often offends.”
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Neil MacDonald Author 
This is learning, that such places exist 🙂
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fado bars are places you go to listen to fado music which induces the pleasure of feeling sad
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Ohhhk! Thanks for the information!
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Laughing.
I guess from the sign that this place is in Glasgow!
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Glasgow is one of many possible locations
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Sadly one does not need fado music anymore, when visiting most high streets.
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The pleasure is a little less in those locations
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Dear Neil,
Doesn’t sound like inviting place to me. Well told.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thansk, Rochelle, The bar sign may only be an attempt at humour of course.
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Some things you just can’t replicate.
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Not without mutation
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So many things are available in bottles these days, but it never comes close to the real thing. Alas!
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Few bottle contain genies
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I never heard of “fado” before, so your explanation to Reena was most helpful. This place, so far, has stirred quite sad, dark responses. I wonder why. . . .
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There’s something just too neat about it
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I loved the atmosphere being sprayed or wiped on with a cloth. I can linger over that image. Well done.
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Thanks so much, Sandra
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Ha. Love that last line.
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A sign I once saw in a bar repurposed
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The signs behind Canarian bars read, ‘Credit only iven to centenarians accompanied by both parents’ – much more subtle!
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But without the same “oomph”
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Love this. As for the sign, how would they say that in Portuguese?
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Thanks, Paula, I don’t think the bar owners know much about Portuguese
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A symptom of the modern world – trying and failing to recreate memories and the good old days, to disguise how horribly wrong things have gone.
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Or building simulacra
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The faux atmosphere is so beautifully crafted by your words. I’m thinking the sign was written by a Scot – Definitely not to be found in an authentic fado salon. 🙂
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Thanks so much, Dora
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No recreation can ever live up to the authentic.
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Once nobody knows that the authentic looked and smelled and sounded like, it may work
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Faux culture attempts are bad enough in business, but faux fado is going too far. I love this part:
“But the scent of madeira and cigar smoke had been sprayed from a bottle or applied with a cloth.”
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Thanks so much, Jade
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You’re welcome 🙂
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Lovely imaginative descriptions, Neil. I like the title particularly!
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Thanks so much, Penny
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it may not be for the connoisseurs for sure. luckily, there are others just like me who would never know the difference. 🙂
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That’s an entirely legitimate rebuke
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It was almost there and then that sign just spoils the entire ambience!
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It’s those little touches, isn’t it?
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Well done. So, is it cash only you’ll be doin’ business with? I enjoyed reading it. 🙂
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Cards are welcome
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🙂
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Ooo this is an intriguing setting. Sounds like the place to visit when you are a bit melancholy
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Melancholy? Maybe wistful, which is the closest English equivalent to the Portuguese word saudade (the emotion you go to fado bars to feel)
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Beautiful
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Things ain’t what they used to be, but at least they tried!
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Perhaps things were never what they used to be
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I’d never heard of a Fado bar either, feels like its not the type of place i’d like to visit, I loved the descriptions of the spray on atmosphere, theres chain pubs in UK like that!
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You’d love a fado bar, but not the Disneyfied simulation
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I’ll keep an eye out, it’s in my lexicon now
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Wonderfully descriptive, it’s like I’ve walked into a faux fado bar. The sign at the end made me smile.
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Thanks so much
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I love the opening line. It leaves so much to the imagination. Then the last line. A final punctuation.
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Thanks so much, Alicia
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Fun slice of life story. I can picture this place.
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Thanks so much, Anne
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Atmospheric of an unwelcoming place, I wonder if the service and food was equally dark.
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The sign was actually taken from one of my favourite pubs in London, where they meant it humorously
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In my travels, I’ve been in places that were “slightly wrong” in their attempts to imitate another kind of place. But, it makes life interesting. Enjoyed the descriptions in your story as always!
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Thanks so much, Brenda
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Maybe we have to suspend a little credulity if we want to be transported on the cheap? Good take on the picture.
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Thanks so much, Rob
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Still laughing at the last line. Great take on the picture too.
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Thanks so much, Jilly
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I would go there just to see the sign!
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I stole it from a bar in London
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Oh no… Fado has to be experienced in Portugal… I had some memorable nights in Funchal… no artificial Madeira there for sure.
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Exactly
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Really strong sense of the setting.
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Thanks. Yeah, it’s all setting and no plot
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I think in a hundred words you have to choose what you want to do. I’d rather read a hundred words of a perfect setting or a great character or a compelling character than a story that tries to do all three and can’t fit it in.
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