
The Machine’s skin was hard, harder than any crocodile’s, tougher even than stone. Irgul stared at it. Today, after reaching manhood, he would become one of the four Bearers. After the feasting, they would parade the Machine round the village, like their fathers before them.
Irgul reached out and caressed the Wheel. It turned. An idea glimmered just beyond his grasp.
Sp’andor, the old shaman, watched the boy and smiled, remembering when he also had that seductive idea for transportation. Irgul would discover for himself, he thought indulgently, how easily clay pots smashed when jolted along the forest paths.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here.
Dear Neil,
I’ve read this piece no less than four times. Perhaps you could shed some light on what’s happening here. Have they made a god out of the machine? I was confused at the smashing clay pots. Intriguing nonetheless.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oops. I did wonder if it would be clear, and obviously it’s not. The have a cult of the machine. Irgul is wondering if inventing the wheel would be a good idea. Sp’andor knows from his own experience that wheels are no use, because they don’t have roads. When you try to transport stuff inside clay pots using a wheeled vehicle they just bounce against each other and smash. The next step will be for them to need to buy plastic pots from the outside world, but then they’ll need something to trade. And you can guess where that leads. Sorry it was so obscure, but at least I didn’t write the Signature, Part 3
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I amended the story slightly. Is it clearer now?
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“for transportation.” That makes it clearer. I think that’s what you added, right?
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Thanks Rochelle. yes that’s what I added
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I read it as an abstract interpretation of the prompt involving the word machine and the wheel. Whilst the invention of the wheel for transportation is still in its early stages, things will really take off when someone invents polystyrene chippings to pack the clay pots in for transportaion. I’m probably wrong – it has been known – all too often. Good take.
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They’ll need to invent roads
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I definitely got the first part, and loved it – that they had made a mystical thing out of the machine. And I love the idea of looking at something we know so well with new eyes, but I wasn’t too sure about the clay pots thing until you explained it.
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Thanks for the feedback, Claire. 100 words is a hard discipline
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I amended the story slightly. Is it clearer now?
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Ah ha! Much clearer. That’s one of the hardest bits of writing, I find – I want to be subtle and make the reader work, but when I know what’s happening in the story it’s difficult to know how subtle to be.
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Thanks Claire. and you’re absolutely right about that line we walk
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I did read this as a future where the functionality of our machines are lost, and a cult around it has been created… the sentence about the clay-pot made me a bit confused though…
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Thanks Bjorn. It’s clear I need to explain the road problem better
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It seems like my story was a bit vague too.. 🙂
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It’s that pesky word count thing. I thought it was clever.
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I amended the story slightly. Is it clearer now?
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Well, Neil, this week I not only understood your story but I loved it.
Very clever, very funny,
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You don’t know how happy that made me that someone understood it. Thanks
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I got it at the second attempt at reading it. Nothing wrong with that, nice to have a piece that makes us work and think a bit. Clever idea and well written.
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Thanks, Iain
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Great story. Reminds me a bit of By The Waters of Babylon by Stephen Vincent Benet.
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Thanks so much
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I hope that they polish and oil the machine. 🙂
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I thought I understood it right up to the clay pots where I got lost. I thought he got the idea about some mechanical device by turning the wheel. I wonder what the term machine means to them, just a name probably. In any case, intriguing story, it drew me in.
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Thanks so much
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I amended the story slightly. Is it clearer now?
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Yes it is. 🙂 The ‘transportation’ changes the ‘huh?’ to an ‘ah!’.
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Thanks!!!!!
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Hi, Neil. First, I enjoy so much how you see prosaic things (an ordinary sewing machine) from a new angle. I took the whole thing as an apocalyptic parable. I saw the boy reaching for the wheel as a symbolic act, a desire to set a revolution in motion, not as an inventing (or reinventing) of a literal wheel for a vehicle. As for the shaman’s comment about the clay pots, I thought this was a metaphor about how humanity’s cosmic plans can easily be smashed like clay pots, or how the older generation thinks that’s what will happen when the younger generation challenges the social order. I didn’t think it was meant to be taken literally, and as such, I loved it.
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Wow! It just shows, Paula, that if you’re cryptic enough readers will make up stories much more profound than anything I could imagine. I love your story
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I’m always seeing things!
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That’s why you’re a writer, Paula
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Very Inventive 😉
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Thanks, Moran
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Liked the set up. The last bit had me lost but I think that’s always a risk we have to take. No harm done…lol.
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Thanks, Paul
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I amended the story slightly. Is it clearer now?
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Like the other readers, I was on board – until the clay pots. Still, your 100 words kept me intrigued from beginning to end.
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Sometimes I don’t do too well. Thanks, Alicia
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Heck! Who CAN do well all the time?
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I amended the story slightly. Is it clearer now?
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I had to read your explanation but now I understand. Sometimes 100 words are just not enough! Very imaginative take on the prompt.
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Thanks, Clare
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I may not have quite understood the story but I got the gist of it. I love watching young people discover the world and remembering how I felt at their age when I too made that same discovery.
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Thanks, Dawn
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I kind of read it as ‘strong ideas can still be fragile.’
Now that i have read the other comments I still enjoyed the story and it’s message. Wrong use of an item no matter how strong it is can still lead to it’s destruction
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Yup. Wheels are no use at all unless you have roads. That’s why the Incas never invented the wheel – no use on rutted mountain paths
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Nice, I’m seeing this as some regressed future society where they’ve created religions based around our old junk.
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Thanks so much.
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Love the idea they deified the machine – an easy thing to do when you don’t understand the technology. Perhaps and extended version, so we can feel your full intentions? Great take on the prompt, though Neil
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Thanks so much, Lynn
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My pleasure, Neil 🙂
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It is absolutely stunning what you come up with, it makes me wonder what I am doing here. 🙂 It’s not just that I want to read more, I want to read the whole book.
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Wow. That’s so kind. Thank you
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Fabulous! I could even buy that last given her the presumed superpowers.:)
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Thanks Alana
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* that last line.:)
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I’ll admit to getting lost, but several lines did stand out to me. “an idea glimmered just beyond his grasp.” And the old shaman remembering when he had the same idea. There’s something generational there–a right of passage. A very intriguing story.
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Thanks Russell. I amended the story slightly. Is it clearer now?
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I liked how you created the whole atmosphere of a tribe and how inventions start to happen in a few words. The clay pots confused me but I found the explanation in your response to Rochelle.
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Thanks so much
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I’m reading after you added transportation but I saw the invention of wheels immediately. Enjoyable glimpse into this world.
Tracey
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Thanks Tracey
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As a child I was kind of fascinated by how unlike the act of sewing a sewing machine looks (as well as in a related way, how unlike a pair of trousers the pattern for a pair of trousers looks!). These old black and gold machines were also rather beautiful, so the whole idea of this mysterious but potent object totally resonated with me. Great sideways look at the prompt.
(Clay pots and wheels not so sure about, but what the heck!)
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Thanks so much
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Very interesting–I loved the relationship between the two characters and the tradition you included–all very clear. I was a bit confused about the pots and how they figured in until I read the comments, though I understood he was imagining wheels. I like that you took a chance, giving us an entire cult(ure) as well as a story in 100 words. Risks are good.
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Thanks Emily
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I think I had the same experience as most of the others here. I really enjoyed it up until I was thrown by the clay pots, until your explanation. Great imagery and phrasing, whether I understood it or not..
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Thanks Mick
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Hmmmm. Different, but it IS a good read whether I understood it or not. I did follow the comments to find the answer, yes, but I like a good read whether I understand it or not. I figure its answers will come out eventually. Don’t hesitate to write stuff no one would understand. Authors do it a lot. Sometimes it’s good to have something a little more intellectually demanding to read anyway. Challenges the mind.
Well done, Neil! Five out of five clay pots. 🙂
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Thanks so much, William
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I could understand it after reading the comments and your explanation and then I could enjoy the cryptic nature of this. Great write.
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Thanks so much
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Ah, you’ve taken us into the deepest jungles. I’m not sure whether building roads there was good or bad. Greed so often takes over. Good story, though. Good writing, Neil. 🙂 — Suzanne
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As a rubber tapper in the Amazon once said “with the road comes destruction, behind a mask called progress”
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