Friday fictioneers – The Fury

~ neilmacdon

 

ice-on-the-window
PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The heavy door blew-in. A fury of snow roiled with Olafur inside. He forced shut the door, and the wind howled its frustration.

“Come in neighbour,” said Jon, pouring a steaming cup of coffee. He waited while Olafur shucked off his greatcoat and cut the rime from his beard with a knife. Then he asked. “What in Odin’s name possessed you to cross the glacier in such a storm?”

Olafur warmed his hands around the cup, eyes rolling. “She’s back. She’s behind me.”

Jon turned to the opaqued window, where Olafur’s stare rested. Against the whiteness, a diffuse light mounted.

 

Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here

57 thoughts on “Friday fictioneers – The Fury”

  4. I obviously didn’t understand what was going on here, but it was so fun to read. Why did I feel the Ride Of The Valkyries was playing in the background?

    I felt like I was there. You have that gift for descriptive conciseness. Keep a-going, Neil!

    Kent (a.k.a. Bill)

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  5. The unspoken does more to horrify than any string of words ever can. I found myself scrolling back up to the photo to see the diffuse white light and shivered in anticipation. Good one.

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  9. Ooh, lovely stuff. I agree with Rochelle, love the knife cutting snow detail – feels genuine some how. Love the way he’s bundled in by the snow, like the snow’s in charge. And love the idea of a man crossing a glacier in such awful weather because SHE’s coming. What is she – the Ice Queen? A snow goddess? Do tell if you know.
    Great stuff, Neil – very enjoyable

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  12. Brilliant scene setting, it makes you feel cold just reading it. I half expected him to say he’d run out of coffee as the reason for braving the glacier but, a great suspenseful ending which will make and has already done, everyone long to know more.

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  13. This is great, every detail adds to the sensation of cold and threat. Poor Jon will have to face ‘her’ too now, whoever she is.

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  18. That was a fantastic piece of descriptive and chilling story-telling, Neil!

    I cannot decide which lines I like the best – there are too many of them! These lines were beautifully written:
    “A fury of snow roiled with Olafur inside. He forced shut the door, and the wind howled its frustration.”

    At first, I imagined the mysterious “She” as being Skadi, the Norse goddess of winter, but the terror of
    Olafur seemed to bespeak something more frightening.

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  21. Good story, Neil. I was wondering about a “she” who would chase a man across a glacier. If it’s his ex he owes alimony or child support to, he must owe a bundle. Great descriptions Well written. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  23. Had to read this several times – after my first lazy mis-reading (eg a flurry of snow rolled in).
    Enjoyed the work and sepculation you give the reader!

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  27. Sounds like Olafur and Jon are in for a spot of bother. ‘She’ sounds like a force to be reckoned with. I love the mystery in this, and the beautifully atmospheric buildup.

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  28. Excellent “story” living here – is it a scene from a larger work? If not, definite interest for your future – very curious. I feel like “she” could be Freyja or a form of the sun.

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  29. Pingback: 83. My secret formula for flash fiction | Neil MacDonald Author

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