Everything about that building was wrong. Bastard amalgam of a hundred ages mixing turrets and pediments—a temple to some chimaeric deity, part saviour and part destroyer. The one terrible eye looked down on you from its riveted socket, like the porthole of a ghost ship.
And heavenly Marie Celeste it was, for I never saw its shuttered doors open to worshippers or supplicants. Silas said god lived in the cabin perched atop the roof, winching his vittals up from street level. I disagreed, believing the tenant was a deaf hunchback, and dreamed of being sacrificed to the creature.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Interestingly, you have summed up the picture perfectly in my view.
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It was an arresting and forbidding picture
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Terrific.
Just superb.
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Wow. Thanks, mate
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I just love the fairly complex language alongside the simplicity of the story. Strong writing.
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Thanks so much, Jilly
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Such graphic images there… winching up the vittals from the street indeed. 🙂
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Thanks, Sandra
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Great imagination. I particularly like the last line.
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Thanks so much, Tannille
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Imagine God living in a building on planet Earth!
What is true and what we want to believe is up to us 🙂
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People imagine all kinds of things. That’s what allows us to write stories
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Dear Neil,
Old buildings like that do fire the imagination, don’t they? Well described.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle
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Great images there. I was put in mind of the building fronts in Howl’s Moving Castle.
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Thanks so much, Joshua
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Too much time reading Victor Hugo I think!
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Certainly both have over-active imaginations
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Fabulous description; wonderful blending of the imaginary and the real. I love the ‘one terrible eye’. This would make a cracking opening for a longer piece – even a novel. All the elements could return again and again in a variety of guises and functions. Super stuff, Neil!
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Thanks so much, Penny. I may even take your advice about the novel
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“Everything about that building was wrong.” I liked this great opening line. It was an apt summary and foreshadowing of the numerous changes and building’s use over time. The explanation of a hunchback being sacrificed to some fire spouting deity could be given in an afternoon lesson at Hogwarts. Colourful and enjoyable read, indeed.
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Thanks so much, James
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Ah. A riveting read. Well done, as always.
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Thanks so much, Linda
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A mixed-up building would bring all sorts of hypotheses… love where you went with this one. Fabulous use of language.
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Thanks so much, Dale
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The architecture certain stands out from the other two buildings, and not in a good way. Very descriptive piece, and I loved the addition of a hunchback. Perfect fit for the digs.
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There HAD to be a hunchback
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I can see everything you describe here… and those shuttered door makes me wonder what it protects (or what it protects us from)
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Thanks, Bjorn.
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What a fun take! The possibility are endless. There are at least three. I’m thinking it’s the hunchback. I heard his old house had a serious fire recently.
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Thanks so much. And yes, that clould be why he moved
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It does conjure fantasy in one’s mind to regard it. Good job describing what came to your mind.
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Thanks so much, Jade
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You are very welcome, Neil.
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A terrible building that houses a chimeric god that never shows Herselt to others. A mysterious place, indeed!
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Thanks for reading
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A skillfully written tale both in content and language. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
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Thanks so much, Keith
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Nice, I liked the look into the narrator’s mind in the final sentence.
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Thanks so much
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Wow, cool ideas here. And the tone is haunting and sad. Great piece
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Thanks so much, Laurie
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Wow…Superb read
Strange
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Thans so much, Deepa
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I like the imagery, Neil, that old building like an island with its links to past deities and present old loners. Something in your language makes the building feel like a damned place. Cracking read
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Maybe not damned, but certainly not completely safe. Thanks, Lynn
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My pleasure Neil
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Interesting take on the prompt. You nailed it!
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Thanks so much
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That eye looks terrible indeed. The building certainly does look like “a temple to some chimaeric deity, part saviour and part destroyer”. Descriptive, compelling writing.
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Thanks so much, Magarisa
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It is definitely nightmarish-looking, and you describe it to perfection.
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Thanks so much, Liz
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Contained the whole building – I had to go back and match the prose to each part. I love ‘bastard amalgam.’
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Thanks so much
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Very interesting take… the picture does have a “temple” feel to it as well as a “factory” sense, too.
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Thanks so much, Bear
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I liked the description of the deity ‘part saviour, part destroyer’. Sums up religions so well.
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Thanks so much, Fatima. I didn’t mean it to be particularly anti-religious
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