Everything about Bennington House screamed institution, from the serried ranks of windows, stiff as soldiers on a parade ground, to the stern matron waiting at the door in her starched apron and cap,
“A prison? You brought me to a prison?” I lunged and tore free of Beadle’s loose grip, but he caught my arm before I could run.
“A place where they’ll care for you and make you well again, lad,” he said. Though his voice was soft, kindly, I recognised teeth behind the mask.
These people meant to destroy me unless I could escape.
.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Smart lad to have recognized their sinister intention.
Am sure he will figure out a way to escape.
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Or is the just in real need of help?
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Dear Neil,
Feels ominous. At least from the MC’s point of view. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle
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Hmm, I like the ambiguity here. So is being made well “brainwashed” as he thinks, or does he really need help? Nice one.
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Thanks so much, Trent
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Serried ranks of windows, and the sense of teeth behind the mask. Brilliant.
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Thanks so much, Jilly. I’m glad those images worked for you
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I agree. I’ve never thought about serried windows. Great image.
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I expect he will be treated to electric shock therapy and the matron will be delighted. I always wonder who decides if I am in the “right mind” and a lunatic.
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You articulate his deepest fears
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A few years back, I wrote a short story called “That Which Burns” about a teenage girl who was a “firestarter” in an institution in the 1950s. Alas her doctor took a personal interest in her and things didn’t end very well. Your tale reminds me of it a bit.
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I’m glad it had resonance for you
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Some fear the worst in everything they face. This could be his mind playing evil tricks on him. Or not!
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Either is possible
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I’ve read about those places, definitely get out and fast! Nicely penned, Neil.
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Thanks so much, Mason
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Just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean they are not out to get you!
I love the way this leaves the reader wondering.
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Thanks so much, Dawn
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Just because he’s paranoid, doesn’t mean… etc…
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My thoughts exactly
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Stark story, just like the building, Neil.
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Thanks so much, Jenne
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A fitting narrative for the photo!
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Thanks so much. It does have a forbidding look
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Such buildings can have a rare beauty, but also a sinister side. Just like life…
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Yes. But he may escape. Or even get better
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The bite behind the smile.
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Thank you
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This reminds me a bit of the story I wrote for FF last week. Institutions can be good or very, very evil. Should I be here? Or is someone just trying to get rid of me?
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Thanks so much, Alicia
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i could sense his predicament. it looks like a place where nobody gets out of there alive.
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Hotel California?
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Well written from the POV of someone who’s in denial about needing help.
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Though, of course, they may really be out to get him
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Wow. You know, there was a time when this was not uncommon. Pretty scary.
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I did have the good old days in mind
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I have a feeling the young lad is enterprising enough to get away. Great line: “Though his voice was soft, kindly, I recognised teeth behind the mask.” FYI, this place did serve as part of the prison system after the Felt’s left. It was also an orphanage. Good vibing on the building, Neil!
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Thanks so much, Jade. The vibing must be testament to what you put in the image
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You’re welcome, Neil 🙂
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I hope his fears are ill-founded.
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Thanks, Liz
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I really like that we can’t be sure if the narrator’s perspective can be trusted – is he right about the place and the people? Or is he in the throes of mental illness, and seeing things that aren’t there? Really nicely done.
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Thanks so much, Patricia
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I have a feeling, historically these places did very little to help and were “out to get” people. Sad.
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A repository for the people we didn’t want to see
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Lets hope he escapes. Well done.
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Or maybe we better hope he doesn’t
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Oooooo this has great tension in it. A simple scene but there is so much here. Are they ill or a criminal? From his point of view, obviously not, but I sense the scene has more going on in it than we know. Clever.
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Your unknowing and his certainty are the price we pay for not being able to know the inside of another human being’s head. Thanks so much, Laurie
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I hope they don’t destroy him and he gets to escape.
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If he keeps his nose clean, maybe
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I hope he manages to escape before they break him. I really liked the description in the first paragraph, well done.
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Thanks so much, Heather
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