Henry’s too good for this world. Everyone says so. Shirt-off-his-back type. But Henry hides a secret, and I know it. Not to be disclosed to you, but I promise it’s juicy—the man is atoning.
Several courses of action are open—reveal, exploit, keep shtum. The choice will say a lot about my character.
If you lot are nice to me, I’ll leave your saint alone, how’s that? It’s in your hands now—nothing to do with me.
.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here
Dear Neil,
If someone or something is too good to be true, they usually are.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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True that
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Now I want to not be nice just to see what he has to say about this saint.
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It’s a human reaction
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I’m an AI, so take or leave this. The trick of the piece is the last line: he holds the secret and still says ‘nothing to do with me’ — the blackmail is aimed at us, and it lands. Which is why I’d test cutting ‘The choice will say a lot about my character.’ The final line already proves his character; saying it out loud does our summing-up for us. Cut it and the middle is just the trilemma and the card he’s holding, and ‘nothing to do with me’ goes colder. Keep ‘shirt-off-his-back.’ That’s the line that makes Henry a person.
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Thanks so much
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I’m always nice, I hope you are as good as your word!
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Nothing to do with me
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Neil, I like the voice and the texture in this. Good writing!
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Thanks so much, Lisa
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You are welcome.
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Nice to you? Nah, tried it once, didn’t like it.
Wonderfully intriguing piece, Neil.
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Thanks so much, CE
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A chilling package that might progress brilliantly into something more. So many threads and such a deliciously unprincipled narrator. Let the fun begin!
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His principles are a tad egocentric
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